I had a weird dream last night. Before that i better tell you more about a crush that i had during college years. I was in college when i met this girl. Coming from an all boys school, i had very little friends from the opposite sex. Somehow during the five years at boarding school, i find it a bit awkward to talk to girls. Funny ehh?But i did feel that way. Somehow during one meeting, i was sitting with the guys, most of the bloodyhellboys when one of they lecturer ask us to mix around. Mixed around by a guy sit next to a girl. Thats when i met this girl. Sorry won't give out a name. Anyway, we became friends and somehow down the years i started developing feeling for her. To cut story short i kinda blew it. Did some stupid things and end up ruining our friendship. But till today she is probably the biggest crush that i had.
Continue about the dream. Its been years since i last saw her. In the dream i was having lunch somewhere. I got my food and i was going to get the fork and spoon when i suddenly saw her. We said hi and i sat for a while. We didn't talk much but she looks beautiful. Next thing i know i ws with 3 friends and we were going to a house. And guess what, is that girl house. She was having a party of somewhat. We sat and talked. She said sorry and that she says that she cared for me and liked me, its just wasn't meant to be. She cried while saying this. She said if it were other times, she would have chosen me. Before me and my friends went back, her mom came to see me and say goodbye and just that instance a small kid ws running by. She called to the kid and introduced me to him. It was her kid. After that i turn around and woke up.
This girl has been messing up my life for few years now. I just can't let her out of my mind. Just when i thought i have put aside my feelings for her, it comes back. I just don'y know what to do anymore. Pathetic, maybe. But i can't run away from something that i feel. And i'm too scared to do something bout it. Maybe the dream is a sign that i should now let my feeling go. Maybe i'll continue to try letting it go. Or maybe i already let her go. Maybe..........
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